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"Life doesn’t warn you, it just … throws into the water."

Not Rotten

Since I wrote that last piece I come to my senses, I missed this and I amused by how quickly everything kept pouring out. I should vent more often.

To any bug out there reading this. Thanks.

you haven't seen the last of me

Reality Check

So I’ve never contemplated the possibility of ever getting back together with my ex-bf, but I feel like those feelings are crawling back again and I need them to STOP! I mean COME ON I just helped him get back together with his ex-gf (the one after me) and somehow that and the fact he wasn’t even a little bit weird out about blasting out his feelings about her in my face right before I moved away for a few months should shut it down for good, they don’t … And I don’t know why. Maybe this happens because I only thought of us getting back together as friends in a distance future but it never actually clicked in my head that it was a possible (and actual) reality. I have to put this is in the back of my head, my main focus should be and in fact IS medschool, the only mayor flaw is this miraculous plan than could solve all of my problems, it’s that I can also drag me to the bottom of the ocean. He is always around, he will always BE around. So I need to learn how to live with it. So let’s put it this way, if I was able to forgive him, I might as well forget about him; as I said before we can’t, we won’t, and we will never get back together. It’s a freaking circus when we are around each other. Please F, take him away.

the long awaited reality check I needed

Life now.

Mid terms are over now and I can’t seem to find anything good to do with my life. I hate that my entire existence right now revolves around my studies and I’m neglecting my personal-sorta-social-love life. I feel an ache in my chest. Funny.

midnight thoughts